


Taking the Bored out of Board Games

by Calacious



Series: Comfort in November and December 2020 [19]
Category: Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: AU, Almost Everything is Alluded to, Comfortember 2020, F/F, Family Fun (kind of), Plant Sex (kind of), Some Swearing, playing board games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27809851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calacious/pseuds/Calacious
Summary: Harley is bored, with a capital B. It's a good thing Ivy is there to help her become un-bored. The writer wants this to be more clever, but what can they do? The title and the tags kind of tell you what's gonna happen.
Relationships: Chad/Steph (Clayface) mentioned, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Series: Comfort in November and December 2020 [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996825
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27
Collections: Comfortember 2020





	Taking the Bored out of Board Games

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the comfortember's alternate prompt: board game

“You don’t suppose they call these things board games, because people get bored when playing them, do you?” Harley asks. She’s twirling her game piece, a miniature version of herself, between her index finger and thumb, and is frowning down at the villains of Gotham themed Monopoly game. 

“You’re just mad because you got stuck in Arkham Asylum again,” Ivy says, knowingly. She places her miniature Poison Ivy game piece on Wayne Avenue. It’s a costly property, but she has the funds to purchase it.

“It’s no fair,” Harley says, pouting. “I think this game is rigged.”

“Babe, of course it’s rigged,” Ivy says, laughing. “It’s a game based on the criminal underbelly of Gotham.”

“You’re going to put some kind of Wayne Enterprise highrise on that property, aren’t you? I’m gonna have to pay you a bajillion dollars when I land on it,” Harley says. 

She rolls the Two-Face themed dice, and smothers a scream in her arms when the snake eyes she needs to get out of Arkham Asylum doesn’t land heads up. Instead, one is showing the smooth, smiling side of Harvey Dent’s face, and the other is showing the ugly, distorted side of the man that sparked his downward spiral into villainy.

Ivy reaches over and flips the dice over, and Harley gives her a kiss. “Aw, thanks, Ives. You’re the best.”

“Don’t thank me. I did it for myself,” Ivy says. “I want that bajillion dollars when you land on Wayne Avenue.”

Harley groans, and rolls onto her back. “I knew it,” she says. “You’re only with me for my money.”

Ivy snorts. “I hate to break it to you, Harl, but if I wanted someone with money, I’d be with Bruce Wayne.”

Harley purses her lips and sits up. “He’s such a dweeb.”

“Are you two done with the bantering, or should we give you the room?” Psycho asks. He’s leering at them, which is unsurprising, as he moves his Riddler game piece to Crime Alley, a property that is owned by King Shark. 

“Ooh, give me my money,” King Shark says, he’s got a huge, toothy grin on his face that shows all of his sharp teeth. It’s mildly intimidating, and Psycho pays up without a protest. It leaves him broke, and he crosses his arms over his chest in a huff.

“It’s your turn, King,” Psycho says. 

“It’s too bad that Clayface isn’t here,” King Shark says. Their self-declared bard is on a date with Chad, as Steph, his popular alter ego.

King Shark rolls the dice and moves his Penguin piece to the Blackgate Penitentiary square, where he can choose to send one of the other players to the prison (until they roll a two and a four, one Dent face up, and the other scarred side up) or he can stage a breakout, and demand money from the player he helps escape.

Since there are no players currently in the penitentiary, King Shark looks around at all of the other players, and his eyes land on Psycho. “Looks like you’re going to prison,” he says, smiling that toothy grin of his that causes the general public to wet themselves.

“Fuck this shit,” Psycho says, throwing his hands up. “I’m out of here!”

“Oh, don’t quit,” King Shark says. “I was just fooling. I can send someone else to prison.”

“Right, like you’re going to send one of the girls to prison,” Psycho says, rolling his eyes. 

“I feel like we’ve narrowly avoided a board flip,” Ivy says. “Go ahead, put me in Bathgate.” The words are a dare, and her gaze doesn’t leave King Shark’s, who swallows and looks away.

“I’m sorry, man,” King Shark says. He picks up the little green question mark that represents the Riddler and sticks it behind the plastic bars of the three-dimensional prison. 

“These women have got you whipped,” Psycho says. He rolls his eyes, and gestures to Ivy to play her turn.

Ivy lands on the Gotham Bank square, and she pulls a bank card off the top of the pile. Her smile lets them know that she will be doling out a handsome sum of money from the bank to herself. They don’t need her to show them what the card says. 

“You have all the luck,” Harley says. She rolls her dice, and jumps up from where she’s been sprawled out in front of the game board and starts pacing. “This isn’t fair!”

Ivy laughs, and moves Harley’s piece to the square Ivy had bought on her last turn. 

Harley slumps to the floor, and tosses the rest of her money at Ivy. It’s not enough. “I’m out of the game. I don’t even have enough money to pay you for landing on Wayne Avenue,” she wails.

“Well, let’s not be too hasty, here,” Psycho says, a gleam in his eyes. “Who says you have to pay up in money? How about we start making this game a little interesting...” he rubs his hands together. 

“Out!” Ivy says, pointing toward the door. “Both of you,” she gestures toward King Shark as well. Both males hasten to comply with her command. Neither of them looks back.

“Ivy,” Harley whines. “Why’d you kick them out?”

“Because, Psycho’s right, you don’t have to pay up in money, but there is another way you could pay off the rest of the bajillion that you owe me,” she says in a husky voice. 

The tendril of a plant curls around Harley’s ankle, and travels up to her thigh, and then nestles between her legs, petting. Harley blushes, and says, “What do you have in mind?”

Ivy leans forward and whispers into Harley’s ear. Harley’s eyes go wide, and her blush deepens as the tendril of the plant that Ivy’s controlling increases the strength and pace of its ministrations. 

“Well, this game just got a lot more interesting.”


End file.
